Angst

Not sure why my mood is terrible right now. I enjoyed a nice 30 mile ride today. The weather was cool and damp, perfect for breaking out my long sleeve wool jersey. Great choice. At times I was a tad cool, but I was never hot. Great route, including, Fenton, Sunset Hills and Crestwood. I am really starting to tell that I'm climbing better. My ascent up Gravois/Kennerly didn't hurt. But, wow. It's a long hill. Really long for around here.

I'm not sure what I want to be as a cyclist. I even contemplated buying a track racing bike today! WTF? I really don't want to race and to top it off, track racing is generally dangerous. Maybe something like a pursuit or kilo. Some bike set up time trial style could have it's advantages. But, I REALLY doubt I'd get something like that.

Bikes are weird ego machines. I have a friend who is racing cyclocross. Good for him. But, he's complaining about buying $40 brake pads for his carbon rims. Here's the problem. Cyclocross. Maybe a local racer will do 10-15 races in the season. IF you are a contender, I can MAYBE see having carbon rims/wheels. Otherwise, it's just silly. Total stroking of ego. "Look at me! I spent more on my wheels than most people I'm racing against spent on their entire bike!" As I said, if you're a contender, maybe I can understand it, but when your being beaten on people who's bikes don't cost as much as your wheels??? C'mon friend! You are just stroking your ego. Ego is a bad thing. It leads to people's downfalls.

I used to have expensive race bikes and was all into it too. But, now, I'm happy riding my simple fixed gear for fun and pleasure. AND, I'm having more fun on the bike now, than when I felt compelled to "train for the big event" and prove my worthyness to others who also felt compelled to prove themselves to me and others.

I'm not knocking racing, but at the same time I am seriously glad that I don't do it anymore. Which makes me wonder about my debating track racing. Why have a special bike to ride around in circles in North St. Louis? It would be fun. Maybe, it's because I've done my share of racing bmx, mountain, road, and cyclocross. Track is something I toyed with, but never did much racing of.

Maybe I'm starting my mid life crisis, not sure what or who I want to be.

Music. I think I may finally be where I want, with the instruments I want. I love the Gibson/Carson J. Robison guitar. The Gold Tone banjo is also turning into a friend, something "different" for when I don't want to play guitar.

My personal mood is weird right now. I feel hippyish, always carring a Tibetan Quartz crystal with me, meditating, doing yoga. Other times, I'm pissed off at people and feel like pummeling them. I have been in a bit of pain lately, my back, teeth, sometimes even my hair. My family makes my happy/angry. Like I said, my mood is weird.

I saw this today. Wow. I don't know what to think. Amazing story at least!!! Haunted guitar. Yeah, sure!

http://cgi.ebay.com/OLD-GIBSON-KALAMAZOO-ARCHTOP-WARNING-GUITAR-is-HAUNTED_W0QQitemZ360189907498QQcmdZViewItemQQptZGuitar?hash=item53dcfdd22a&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14know